Human being is a social animal. We like to belong. Because of this sense of belonging, we grow up to love the approval from others. And because of this, one of the greatest fear that we posses is that of rejection. From young we have sought the acceptance of others. Babies who lack this sense of acceptance by their parents tend to be deranged when they become adults. Such is the power of this force so ingrained in us. Therefore it is little wonder why it is very difficult for us to accept “No”.

But in reality, we may not get everything that we want. Sometimes we get approval, sometimes we don’t. It is therefore very important that we should not always be dependent on “Yes”. As a child we are totally dependent, hence “Yes” is very important. But when we grow up we become more independent and just clinging to “Yes” would actually hamper us from being a full adult and human being.

We have to learn to accept “No” and to be able to move on even though we receive rejections. When you come to think about it, not all “Nos” are bad. “Nos” to smoking, unhealthy life-styles are actually good for us. Sometimes being rejected by your first boy friend / girl friend was a blessing in disguise. Sometimes being rejected from a job lead a person to start his own enterprise. The list can go on. This reminds me of a statement which I wrote in my 2nd book “Wisdom In Failure” - “Failure is nothing more than an unseen hand that halted us in our normal path and with great wisdom forces us to re-direct our effort along more advantageous pathways.”

So, do not be like the child who always must get what they want or else he/she will throw his/her tantrum and starts to cry. One of the measurement of whether you are an adult or not is how you react to “Nos” or “rejection”.

• The idea of STAR WARS was rejected by every major movie studio and every TV network.
• Alexander Graham Bell was ordered by an angry banker to remove “that toy” from his office. “That toy” was the telephone.
• The idea of the Xerox machine was turned down by 20 companies.

Yes, nothing or no one can really become great without facing rejection. “Rejection” is the test that nature set to determine our greatness.

May the force to face rejection be with you.

Your fellow traveler in time.

Billi Lim
Author of No. 1 Best-seller “Dare To Fail”